Number Five

One’s fifth heart attack may not seem a cause for celebration, but, it is a tremendous affirmation of life. Of course, surviving it leads to greater joy and the ability to join in the festivities more directly than the alternative, but, I would, and was, smiling regardless of the final outcome. And it wasn’t just the morphine, though the nurse at the cardiac unit of the hospital suggested that the transport paramedics had been holding out at 2mls every five minutes and suggested 5mls every two minutes, with a “let’s party” ! I did debate whether dying on Father’s Day is good or bad….I opted for good, in that my sons, who are good young men, don’t dote on me as much as I think they should. This way they would at least remember me one day a year!

Most folk’s simply don’t know they are going to die. Think about it. Unless you have seen the white light or have done the out of body thing, you can try and intellectualize or reason about the inevitable, but, in the end it becomes denial. That is the reality of human nature, that to envision our self as dispirited is impossible and contrary to the generally accepted attitudes and emotions about life. From this two consequences arise. The first is the most basic and reptilian; we can’t understand or reason our own demise, so like all things unknown that affect our physical being, we fear death…some folks with a fear that actually kills them. I would bet that ultimately fear is the true #1 cause of death in most species. The second is more insidious because it allows others to control our lives and seems limited to our species, that is, we invent bizarre scenarios that have us living forever, on earth or elsewhere as the case may be. Add to that the contradiction of folks actually dying around us and next thing you know we need some one to blame and somebody to take responsibility for our misconceptions, oh lord!

Long before this heart attack I garnered a clear understanding of my death. I did the white light and out of body, too. But, mostly I recognized that it certainly didn’t matter a bit if there is or is not a fanciful afterlife, nor did it even matter if I recovered or not. What matters is did I fully appreciate the time I had been given and would I appreciate, as in give greater worth than the initial sum, more time. Within the realities of petulant humanism I could say yes to both those questions. This notion of self worth coupled with relaxed acquiescence, that is accepting how wonderfully blessed I have been, is probably what saved my life, each time. I don’t get frantic, I just laugh and look forward to the ride.

Enough of that!

Some folks have wondered if the pig glands have had something to do with this latest trip. Emphatically, no! In fact, if the tests performed over the last few medical encounters are true, I can say with great certainty that the glands are working quite well. Blood sugars have remained (un-medicated) at near normal levels, around 120-130 fasting glucose, and an ac1 of 6.1. It did spike at 180 during the heart attack which isn’t bad under stress at all. Blood pressure has remained (un-medicated) at 120/75 spiking at 137/92 during the attack. AND a curious and unexpected benefit, my triglycerides, for the first time in my life (whether medicated or in this case un-medicated) are normal!! They have usually (actually always) been so high as to have the lipid test come back un-measurable. My gross cholesterol has always been very good, around 100, except ridiculously low, 18-25 HDL and that hasn’t changed. So! Viva el Puerco!

This is the first MI that I actually had some symptoms, though very minor and easily (not next time!) dismissed. I had a sudden weight gain, nearly 20 lbs in a month. I felt some pain in my left arm, which I presumed was simply muscle pain. Tremendous lethargy and some depression hit me the week before. That was about it.

So what brought this on? Well I’m not sure. The blockage was pretty severe and acute infarction was present in the right ventricle primarily affecting the inferior ventricular wall. Luckily, this was the last unaffected part of my heart. A MI of this magnitude in any of the other three already blotted chambers and it woulda been curtains . Two stents were placed end to end and blood flow was returned to 100%. Another restricted artery was discovered which will require surgery soon but was left while the infarction was dealt with. I suspect the stress of the back injury rupturing a plaque was the culprit. But, I have another possible cause, which will surprise folks.
It might be radiation!

Curiously and with some effectiveness, radiation treatments used to be given for bursitis, some arthritis and other persistent joint and muscle problems even after the advent of steroid usage. It is the same theory of using ionizing radiation to “cook” and breakup cancerous mass. I was going through my bills and I sure was cooked! Three chest x-rays, 2 CT scans of the lower spine, 5 x-rays of the lower spine, in two weeks! That is about 4 or 5 years worth of radiation; if it was all done just right. So just maybe, just maybe, this broke up some plaque that lodged in my little black heart. Or maybe it was the two together stress and radiation. I don’t know. Certainly, all the radiation was directed towards heavily scarred areas with heavy plaque. I know nothing about this I am just surmising.

Anyway, Johnny’s back!